5 Things We Wish We Knew Growing Up.

What is it REALLY like to be an adult?

Can we just be cute and pampered forever?

 Growing up, we had different ideas....

We couldn't wait to stay up late, watch TV till any time we wanted, watch any station or show we wanted, eat plenty of sugar without being scolded, drink strong drinks, have a boyfriend/girlfriend, go on outings unsupervised, not have a curfew, buy all the gadgets in the world, graduate from university, start a career/job, get married (maybe) and become parents ourselves so we can ask our kids to pass the remote that's just beside us.....

How many of these boxes did you tick? 

What was your idea of being a grown up when you were a child? 

Now, let's talk about what it REALLY like to be an adult. 

1. You're responsible for every relationship you build:

Then; As a child, our relationships and friendships were limited to our siblings, cousins, neighbors (If you're not "Omo, get inside" like me), class/schoolmates, church/mosque members. These relationships are mostly monitored by your parents or an adult. They are responsible for the time you spend with these people. They take care of follow up with the other party's parents, get you dressed to attend birthday parties, school or religious activities where you get to hangout with these people. They organize holidays where the cousins come to stay or vice versa.... These things make the holiday period super special and something to look forward to. 

Well, that happened too. 😂

Now: As an adult, you have a wider range of places to meet and make friends, but it's up to YOU to follow up on these friends, plan birthdays, or hangouts, vacations and every kind of activity that ensures you spend time with these people.

How has that been working out so far?

2. You are responsible for your physical appearance:

Then; Mum makes sure we're well dressed. She ensures we bathe and brush, eat breakfast, eat a fruit regularly, have clean and ironed clothes. She made sure our outfits were well matched and occasion appropriate. 

Dad made sure the guys looked smart, (shirts tucked in, hair -and beards later... well cut), and monitored the length of the girl's skirts. How they sat, talked and walked (You better make your old man proud)

Ooops... Fashion fails happen?. 🤔

Now; Your outfit choices are up to YOU. We craved for that freedom, but do we all enjoy styling ourselves? I styled a young man recently and all he could grumble about was how he had to tuck in his shirt to look like the responsible man his father would approve of. At first, flying our shirts free seems like the 'grown up' "No one can tell me how to dress" rebellious stage of teenage and early 20s... But after a while, we begin to see the respect that dressing well brings us. Or do we?

My friend and I went to buy food at my regular buka (canteen😳) sometime this week, and two little girls also buying food (about 8-10yrs old) kept staring at us.... Saying stuff to each other... 'They're sooooo pretty...." "Look at her nails..." 

They made me smile, and I really could relate cos I definitely did that as a child... If only they knew tho....  That looking pretty doesn't come easy.. Or cheap.

How has your outfit choices changed since being an adult?

Do you? Do you really?☺

3. You're responsible for how people perceive you: 

Then: As child, your parents and teachers practically told you what to say in different situations. 

(Someone gives you a gift)

Mum: Junior, say thank you!

Junior: Thank you ma.

(You bump into someone)

Teacher: Rachael, say sorry to your friend!

Rachael: Sorry.

Teacher: No, say: "I'm sorry Tope"

Rachael: I'm sorry Tope. 

Now, we can be so petty and proud of it..

Then, forgiveness came easily as we were told how to or not to react. 

Now; We're responsible for the impressions we make on people, how we respond to confrontations, how we talk, walk, eat, sit... Our Attitude...! No parent or teacher to impress now, so we can behave however we want. Right?

4. You're responsible for maintaining your diet and health: 

Then: As a child, mum was the nurse, she gave first aid to every injury, took you to the hospital for check up or treatments if the sickness needed it. Our parents/guardians ensured we didn't consume too much sugar or junk food or drinks.

Now: As an adult, if you have a cold, you have to remember to stop by at a pharmacy for medicine or check yourself Into a hospital if symptoms persist. Most adults I know would rather ignore the sickness (yh, gently catch your subs....👽) till they feel better, and when they don't... They'll finally start treatment.... But never finish. 😳

As an adult, you have to worry about eating healthy, regular meals, or going on a diet so as to chase a flat tummy or six packs. You're accountable for too much coffee, when to drink water or not.... If to drink alcohol or not...

Don't you just miss the good old days of body ignorance.......?

5. You're responsible for your career, Job, and Finances: 

Chai, this one shock all of us😖

This is one probably came as a surprise to most of us.... 

We were told we'll go to Uni for 4 years, graduate at 23, get a well paying job in a good company, buy a car and live a good life.... 

Or

Some of our parents convinced us to study a  particular category of courses... That's was the only way to make it in life.

We had to grow up to realize we had to carve our own career path, struggle with admission, endure strikes, horrible lecturers, ridiculous job requirements and lots more.

We were told that education was the only way to make money, and it's dropouts that go into business or learn handiwork or crafts. 

We had to grow to realize leaving our parents' houses meant paying for EVERYTHING. From food, to water, to clothes, transportation, rent, utility bills, get our own gadgets and maintaining them....

Gosh. Adulting is hard! 

Someone shoulda warned us how stressful and tasking it'd be..... can someone please remind children now to enjoy being children, and that Adulthood isn't just about freedom to come and go, do and dress as you please, but RESPONSIBILITIES majorly? Or like some people will say "adulthood na scam!"

One day, we woke up and realized that we'll have to step up the adult game in different ways than we thought as children. 

How do we do this tho?

Sighs.

Let's stop here for now. 

Wait a second tho; If you could reach out to your 10 year old self, what advice will you give? 

Who knows, you might just inspire someone. 

See you soon.

XoXo; RHD 💜💜💜