Here's what 'new mum' truly means. Pt 2

A mum on a journey to rediscover herself...

I used to think pregnancy was tough. Those nine months came with their share of odd symptoms, discomfort, and tears. But nothing truly prepared me for what postpartum life would feel like—a whirlwind, a marathon I hadn’t trained for. If I thought pregnancy was the mountain, postpartum was an uphill climb I’d be scaling blindfolded, with no clear end in sight.

At first, it was hard to see past the sleepless nights, constantly crying baby, endless diaper changes, and breastfeeding troubles. My baby’s sleep schedule, or lack of, made me question whether I’d ever sleep again. Before becoming a mum, I thrived on a solid eight hours. I stayed up late when I wanted to, and slept till whatever time I felt like/needed to, uninterrupted. Then Rowena arrived, and sleep became a luxury. Two-hour naps here, four-hour stretches there, and that was the best-case scenario for the first 10 months. Every cry in the middle of the night felt like a cruel joke. My husband tried to help where he could, but as a mum, you know most of the burden—physical, mental, and emotional—falls on you.

And then there was the mirror.  I avoided it. I was at my heaviest postpartum, and I struggled with how I looked. I couldn’t see past the tired, dishevelled woman staring back at me. Add to that the weight of expectations—to return to how i used to look 'prebaby'.  It felt impossible to live up to.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was slipping into postpartum depression. It crept in slowly, hidden beneath the fog of exhaustion, self-doubt, and isolation. I felt lost, like I didn’t know who I was anymore. My once vibrant, confident self seemed like a distant memory.

I didn't feel strong enough to go back to work (9-5) after the 3 months maternity leave expired, so I lost the friendships and projects I'd built there.  I also didn't feel ready to leave my baby with strangers (creche) so I kept her with me at home .

I’m grateful for the love and support that surrounded me during those dark moments. My husband was (still is) my rock. He listened, encouraged me, and reminded me of doing the things I loved (witting, filmmaking). stepping in to help with Wena when I needed a break. He'd take her out on walks, or to hangout with neighbour's children, feed her so I could nap, or write or work on my crochet a bit. My parents, and in-laws were a blessing, And for a while, our part-time nanny made life manageable. She’s no longer with us, but her time with us gave me some space to catch my breath.

Slowly but surely, I began to climb out of that dark place. It wasn’t an overnight transformation—it was a series of small steps that I consciously had to take and I'm still taking. I started praying more consistently, finding solace and strength in my faith. I rediscovered my love for creating—crochet projects became my therapy, a way to channel my emotions into something tangible and beautiful. I began journaling, writing out my thoughts and prayers, and even started putting myself out there again on social media.

I made a commitment to take care of myself. It started with small acts of self-care: taking a long shower, applying lotions, serums, and masks, making my hair again, taking walks by myself, making juices and smoothies for my family, using @growwithjo's work out videos on YouTube to keep the body active... Little by little, these moments helped me reconnect with myself.

I also began to prioritize my relationships. My husband and I carved out time for each other, even if it was just sitting down to talk/watch a movie after Wena went to bed. I leaned on my friends, making an effort to reach out, hang out, and remind myself that I’m more than just “mum.” I’ve also learned to give myself grace—to recognize that I don’t have to be perfect to be enough.

Now, as a mum of a toddler, life is busy but fulfilling. Wena keeps me on my toes, shouting 'mummy' at least 1000 times per hour. My days are a delicate balance of work, family, and personal growth. 

I still have struggles—it’s not always easy to find the time to rest or connect with friends. But I’ve learned to be intentional about filling my time with things that matter, whether it’s working on Crochet_by_Rho (My crochet business), going for a walk, or having a heartfelt conversation with a loved one.

Through it all, I’ve come to realize that being a mum doesn’t mean losing yourself. It means rediscovering who you are in a new light. It means embracing the highs and lows, the chaos and the calm. It means showing up for yourself so you can show up for the people you love.

To every new mum out there: you are so much stronger than you think. Your journey is uniquely yours, and it’s perfectly okay to take it one step at a time. Surround yourself with love, lean into your support system, and don’t forget to prioritize yourself in the process. Motherhood is a beautiful, challenging adventure, but you’ve got this—we’ve got this! 💕 What’s been the most surprising part of your motherhood journey so far? Let’s share and grow together.

XOXO: RHD 💜💜💜

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